The positive impact of lockdown
In the darkness we have been passing through for a year, maybe there were some good things that happened to us.
It started in March 2020. A complete lockdown was imposed. The lockdown continued for about 6 months. Everyone was suddenly home- full time, with no work.
Life seemed to freeze; days made no sense anymore. Every day was the same- same surroundings, same people to see. Soon it got damn boring.
That continued for a while.
Then the worry for external things seemed to wear away. The exam, or the work, seemed to not exist. It was just you and your free time.
This was a chance to look back, and take steps to change your life.
To get rid of things that stood in the way of your happiness, and learn more about yourself.
This was a chance for you to claim control of your life completely. Or at least till the quarantine existed.
Since the future seemed hazy, we all took a chance looking at our present.
Things possible of being done were so less, yet you could do them by your choice of interest.
There were no worries regarding people, the competition, the responsibilities, or anything at all.
No one asked you to do stuff that was supposedly profitable for your future.
The truth is, the future is and will always be hazy, quarantine or not. There is no guaranteed future.
So, coming to me,
The JEE (a college entrance) was postponed.
A friend was frustrated because she studied intensely.
Another felt lucky to have more time.
I started thinking about myself.
The number of hobbies I had — 0.
The number of friends I had — 0, except for toxic “friends”.
Simple questions scared me the most.
What do you like?
What do you enjoy doing?
What do you do every day?
What is your passion?
Tell me about your life?
I had no idea.
I had no identity.
I had no personality.
For 5 years until quarantine, I had zero time available outside of academic learning. Zero.
I had developed a chronic cell phone addiction and felt depressed.
Mental health isn’t taken seriously here because that’s the culture. There’s a lot to say about this issue but let’s not get sidetracked.
It is strange how low I prioritized my happiness. I guess I was scared of failing so I stayed on the general route, the one that everyone took- studying for a competitive exam. This again is an irony; because I never even studied. Every day was fruitless. Yet I kept wishing things would change the next day. It was a conflict between my brain’s ‘instinct’ part and ‘surrounding sense ‘part.
Suddenly it’s quarantine time.
“no one asks me to do stuff, maybe I could do stuff that I want.”
After this eureka moment, my life transformed.
I discovered my love for art.
It’s a culture here to look down on art so I got discouraged by my parents. I learned that I don’t need to wait for their support.
Painting after painting, I developed into a passionate artist.
I got crazy about dancing and learned a lot about it on my own.
I got rid of those toxic friends.
I made new friends who helped me become a normal human.
I got braver to travel in my surroundings, became comfortable around people, made my first dog friend, went for many city drives, got fit.
Most important of all, after a long time I felt happy.
I realized happiness was satisfaction, and it’s not that hard to be satisfied as others portray.
Neither is it something that can be forced, or convinced to happen. It doesn’t come through smartphones or addictions either.
It can mean different things to everyone. For me, satisfaction is really simple.it is when I do things that interest me — things which I chose, all by myself, adding all my own love and passion and thinking into it. Even if it’s not perfect, if I worked my best, it’s beautiful and reflects my hard work. It stays as personal memory, an emotion that is unforgettable. It makes me happy.
Quarantine gave me a chance. I took it because I was desperate, and it helped me find happiness. Truly, I’ve been searching for happiness for a hell of a lot of time. Thus, this reward was definitely worth the quarantine.
